How do you know if you have chemistry with a person? Sometimes you just meet someone and are immediately pulled towards them. Sparks fly and it’s like the whole world slows down. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you feel that they’re experiencing the same thing as you are.
This is a romanticized but definitely not inaccurate idea of what chemistry is. It’s an instant connection, an intuitive bond, and something that sparks many great relationships. The magnetism is often powerful and palpable, impossible to ignore.
But doubts begin to form shortly after. Was it really a mutual attraction? Or was it just you, tricking yourself into believing it was chemistry when it was your own infatuation? Sometimes, the lines can become blurry, making it hard to tell for sure.
If you are experiencing these strong emotions and aren’t sure what to make of them, you just need to pay attention to what’s going on. If it’s real chemistry, you’re bound to notice some of these signs of chemistry between two people.
1. BODY LANGUAGE
Nonverbal communication is just as crucial as verbal communication in ensuring positive chemistry and determining effective communication on the whole. Picture, for example, saying you’re sorry while glaring or crossing your arms, compared to apologizing with an open expression and body posture. It makes all the difference!
In addition, nonverbal cues are often more difficult to control – you can think about your words, but you have to be extra conscious of your body’s natural reactions and movements to stop your body language from being obvious. This is why body language plays such a huge role in spotting chemistry.
Some body language signs of chemistry between two people are:
- Leaning in towards one another
- Licking lips
- Sweaty or fidgety hands
- Playing with hair
- Crossing and uncrossing legs constantly
Body language is honest. It reveals many things we try to hide. That’s why these subtle cues can show chemistry, attraction, and a good relationship when verbal communication cannot. If you and another person exhibit similar body language, it’s a good sign!
Teasing can be childish, and it isn’t always a surefire way to gauge chemistry. That said, it does typically show that someone may be interested in you in some way. There can be subtle meanings behind teasing that you might not be paying attention to – and those meanings can indicate chemistry.
As children pulling pigtails in a playground, we may not have known what we were really trying to do. As adults, it’s more purposeful – it’s done to get attention, elicit reactions, and establish rapport. Here are some examples of ways of teasing that may do this:
- Playful banter
- Pushing each other lightly around
- Using silly or cute nicknames
- Picking on each other (harmlessly!)
- Imitating one another
Do note that teasing, in this case, should never be done to offend or harm. Instead, it is a way of interacting with each other and showing affection in a more amusing manner. Many might even call you an old married couple because of how much you bicker!
3. THE EYE CONTACT IS INTENSE
Eye contact is extremely powerful when it comes to chemistry. Just by looking at how two people gaze at each other, you can tell a lot about their bond and connection. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, so what better way to get to know each other than through eye contact?
When you feel chemistry with someone, you tend to automatically stare at them. You can’t help it; it’s as though your eyes are drawn to their very being, and you can’t look away – unless they catch you, in which case you quickly avert your eyes and pretend you hadn’t done anything!
But that doesn’t mean that these same coy people glancing away from each other don’t also hold long periods of eye contact. They stare into each other’s eyes when talking and interacting, often until it becomes too intense and they have to look away. Some eye “postures” also indicate chemistry, such as:
- Dilated pupils
- Raised eyebrows
- A fixed, focus gaze
- A gaze that darts from the lips to the eyes
4. YOU FLIRT – BUT VERY SUBTLY
When there is a lot of chemistry between two people, everything feels more intense and incredible. That’s why your flirting is gentle and subdued. Even the lightest of touches can feel heavenly!
You experience everything so much more strongly, to the point where even just hugs or kisses on the cheek can feel like a lot. You may prolong hugs, squeeze each other’s hands, or rub one another’s backs, and it all feels so much more passionate to you than other people may think.
In addition, subtle flirting can be a way for two people to express their attraction to one another without it being obvious to those around you. This makes it feel like there’s a little secret you both share. In the beginnings of a relationship, it can be especially subtle, as you are both learning to navigate the complexities of your chemistry.
5. BEING ALL SMILES
It’s hard not to smile when you’re around someone you like. After all, you’re feeling this powerful magnetism that draws you to one another, and there’s no one else you’d rather be around at the moment. How can you not smile?
If you and the other person can’t stop grinning – or you’re obviously trying to control your smiles – there’s a good chance that there’s a lot of chemistry there!
Sometimes, you don’t need to even interact with them to enjoy the benefits. You just look at each other and automatically feel more positive. One simple look and your day is brightened. That’s the power of chemistry.
6. YOU NOTICE SMALL THINGS
Small things matter a lot. Usually, we talk about this in reference to acts of kindness or subtle romantic gestures, but right now, we mean that noticing minute details in someone else can be a huge sign of positive chemistry. For example, you and the other person may notice:
- A new hairdo
- Little favorite things of the other person
- New clothing items
- How you take your tea or coffee
- Nervous tics or habits
- How to cheer you up
This also means you will remember a lot of things from each other, like “mundane” stories you’ve told. This is because you’re both paying extra attention to each other due to higher levels of interest.
7. YOUR FOCUS IS ALWAYS ON EACH OTHER
Even in a room full of other people, you and this other person are most attentive towards each other. You’re always somewhat focused on what the other is doing or saying, even if you’re not interacting with them at the time.
This can also make you distracted during other areas of your life. You constantly check your phone for their texts. You find yourself struggling to focus at work. You forget about things you usually hold dear. Remember to try and strike a balance! Don’t forget about your friends and responsibilities!
8. LOSING TRACK OF TIME
When you’re with this person, hours feel like mere minutes. Time flies in ways that genuinely shock you, and it always feels like your time is up too soon. It can make you think that there will never be enough time to spend with them. This could be due to:
- Deep, long conversations – it’s like you can talk and talk forever and never run out of things to say
- Sharing common hobbies or fun activities to do together
- Enjoying a comfortable, companionable silence
- Just spending time with each other and doing your own thing individually, together
Even with all the time in the world, you don’t think you could ever find yourself growing bored. It’s an incredible feeling, and one usually only possible with great amounts of chemistry.
9. THERE’S A LIGHT BUT PALPABLE TENSION
Chemistry can cause tension to stretch out between two people. Physical attraction and desire play huge roles in the signs of chemistry between two people. It can cause a space that you two inhabit to feel like the air is thick enough to slice!
Of course, do note that this type of desire and tension isn’t, on its own, self-sustaining. To rely on this alone when building a relationship usually ends badly. The best types of chemistry aren’t just about intimacy – they’re about the body, mind, and soul all at once.